The "Relationship"

Something was wrong.  Something was terribly wrong.  Why did I allow myself to get emotionally involved?   Red flags were waving frantically in all directions in an attempt to get my attention.  I ignored the warnings.  What could happen here anyway I thought to myself?  He is over a thousand miles away.  We could only have telephone conversations and exchange e-mail.  It was all innocent I told myself.  I had built a wall around my heart, and I was not going to let anyone in.  But something started to happen.  A little bit of the wall started to crumble.  I started to care for this man.  Part of me, a very big part of me, knew it would not turn out well, but there was a small part that held on to hope.  He told me he loved me.   


Many years ago we dated for a short while.  It had been many years since I had spoken to him.  The last I knew, he was married.  One day my sister tells me that she had been thinking about him, and she would like to talk to him.  They ran around with the same crowd many years ago.  That's how I met him.  I told her I would search for him on the internet.  At first I thought nothing about doing this, but then I began to wonder what had happened to him.  I found him.  I sent him an e-mail; he answered immediately.  After the first e-mail was sent, we exchanged e-mail frequently and spoke to each other almost every day.  He told me he still had feelings for me.  We talked about his engagement.  He said he wasn't happy.  He said a lot of things; now I know they were just words.  If we listen to what a person says, we can learn quite a bit about that person.

Friends said leave it alone; you have no business there.  If he's doing to this to her, he'll do the same to you.  Others said he's not married yet; you have no loyalty to her. But don't we tend to think, oh, it's different with me.  Well, it's not!  Love blinds us sometimes.    But it's funny how we can convince ourselves of just about anything if it's something we want to do.

(The saga continues .)