Thoughts on Dating

I have attended a class on dating.  It's not a class to find your mate, but if it happens, great!  The class deals with issues such as setting boundaries, why we continue to make bad choices, not settling, sticking to our values and beliefs, and just getting back out there.  So I've gone out on a couple of dates.  These are men I would definitely keeps as friends.  But the to be honest, the whole idea of dating still scares me.  I've been out of the dating game after all.  I may have to kiss a few frogs, but I think in the end, it will be worth it.   

What Relationship (Update)

Many months have gone by since my initial posting.  I was not sure if I wanted to say anything further.  I was heartbroken.  He said some things that were not very nice.  We had not spoken for about eight months.  I even changed my phone number.  But as my father would say, I gave him amnesty.  We communicated again in January 2010.  As long as we did not mention love, I was ok.  Eventually, love came up again.  How does he tell me he's in love with me he said in an e-mail. (He's still engaged.)   He said he was the kind of person who told it like it is.  Well, I told him like it is to which I received no response.  That speaks volumes about him.  I had to think with my mind and not with my heart.  I  think about how things would have been  if he and I were to have gotten together.  Could I trust him?  After all he's engaged to someone else but he's telling me that he's in love with me. Would he do the same thing to me?  Regardless about how I feel about him,, I had to move on.  I need to be involved with a man who has the same values and beliefs as I.  He needs to be a man of integrity and a man of good character..  It took me a little while to believe that I deserve better and that I do not have to settle for anything less. 

The "Relationship" - chapter 2

He made me laugh like no other man had made me laugh.  He was funny; I found that attractive. But a couple a months later as we were still talking and exchanging e-mail, I could see that things were not going to change with him and the woman to whom he was engaged.  I sent him an e-mail one day and I told him we had to talk.  I was ready to tell him that we had to end this thing.  After all, he was engaged.  So I did.  That was in either March or April 2009.

The "Relationship"

Something was wrong.  Something was terribly wrong.  Why did I allow myself to get emotionally involved?   Red flags were waving frantically in all directions in an attempt to get my attention.  I ignored the warnings.  What could happen here anyway I thought to myself?  He is over a thousand miles away.  We could only have telephone conversations and exchange e-mail.  It was all innocent I told myself.  I had built a wall around my heart, and I was not going to let anyone in.  But something started to happen.  A little bit of the wall started to crumble.  I started to care for this man.  Part of me, a very big part of me, knew it would not turn out well, but there was a small part that held on to hope.  He told me he loved me.   


Many years ago we dated for a short while.  It had been many years since I had spoken to him.  The last I knew, he was married.  One day my sister tells me that she had been thinking about him, and she would like to talk to him.  They ran around with the same crowd many years ago.  That's how I met him.  I told her I would search for him on the internet.  At first I thought nothing about doing this, but then I began to wonder what had happened to him.  I found him.  I sent him an e-mail; he answered immediately.  After the first e-mail was sent, we exchanged e-mail frequently and spoke to each other almost every day.  He told me he still had feelings for me.  We talked about his engagement.  He said he wasn't happy.  He said a lot of things; now I know they were just words.  If we listen to what a person says, we can learn quite a bit about that person.

Friends said leave it alone; you have no business there.  If he's doing to this to her, he'll do the same to you.  Others said he's not married yet; you have no loyalty to her. But don't we tend to think, oh, it's different with me.  Well, it's not!  Love blinds us sometimes.    But it's funny how we can convince ourselves of just about anything if it's something we want to do.

(The saga continues .)